PRESENT IMPERFECT
It has come to my attention over the past several years that perfection is unattainable–at least for me. I have paged through numerous editions of Martha Stewart Living and other publications that specialize in perfection and I appreciate the perfect layouts, landscapes and how-to projects, not to mention the value of inspiration. I also understand that constant seeking after perfection would almost certainly lead me to tear my hair out in chunks. The idea of perpetual disappointment combined with prominent bald patches is truly frightening.
So, I have made a pact with my inner self to focus on doing the best I can with the tools I have, which include inclination, available time and personal ability. I am going to need all of them in order to get the garden ready for a party in just over two weeks. My husband has already promised the invited guests an “early tour of the garden.” Of course he means our garden–the one bounded by an untrimmed privet hedge, only partially cleaned up after the winter, desperately in need of large scale mulching and full of onion grass and chickweed. Right now it would make a graphic “before” picture for one of those glossy shelter magazines. Now I have to transform it into an “after” picture in a very short time. Of course rain might just save the day, keeping the guests inside on the appointed date. It’s much more likely, however, that it will rain every day from now until the party, with thunderstorms on the days when I have time to work on the garden. The day of the party will dawn clear and sunny, so that our guests will be able to get a really good view of the garden arch that has toppled over in yet another New Jersey windstorm.
It’s a good thing I am an optimist.
I think about the immediate tasks, which include getting all the houseplants out of the dining room; planting all the seeds and young plants that I ordered while I was in a state of catalog-induced euphoria in February; trimming the hedge, mulching everything; edging the beds; mowing the lawn and finishing the transformation of my front strip by transplanting existing specimens and mulching around them. In addition to limited time, my supply of ready cash won’t permit endless trips to the garden centers or enlisting paid helpers. Tearing my hair out is still not an option unless I aim to scare the guests away. It’s time to forget perfection and start working on reality.
First I’ll tackle the seeds and plants by assembling all the available pots plus the big bag of potting soil that I keep in the garage and potting up absolutely everything. All those pots will go into easy-to-water plastic trays that will be placed outside in a holding area. That way I don’t have to make any headache-inducing immediate decisions about where various plants will end up. I also don’t have to worry that July will find those seeds still cooling their heels in the back of my refrigerator waiting for my attention. Germination and growth will happen while I am tackling all the other chores and by the time I am ready for the plants, they will be more than ready for me.
The houseplants can all go out on the back or front porches for the moment and acclimate to the outdoors while I work my way around the garden and find summer homes for them. If I don’t have time to do that before the party, I can arrange them artistically on the porches using my collection of plant stands of varying heights.
But what about the rest of the garden? I’ll start by focusing on cleaning up the most visible parts. Mulching as I go, I’ll cover the multitude of weeds that I won’t have time to hand pull. This is sloppy gardening technique. I know the weeds will only rear their ugly heads again after a few weeks, but that will also be after the party, when–theoretically–I will have time to deal with them properly. I will prioritize the hedge trimming, going after the front hedge first and the side hedges if I have time. I’ve already taken care of some of the edging, but I can also use the old trick of edging three linear feet, then skipping a few feet, then edging again. The effect is close to that of a completely edged bed with only about half of the work. I’ll mulch the highly visible areas first and see what else I have time for. If there are holes in the planting scheme, I will fill them with the houseplants or a few colorful annuals. I will also wait until a day or two before the party to go to the garden center and save money by buying only what I need.
And if, in the end, my guests perceive the fruits of any of my labors as perfection, I will give thanks and keep the particulars to myself.